“There is also love in the world”
I don’t really know how to begin this. I don’t know how anyone really can. It’s disturbing, but there are no pictures here.
It’s Japan, and I’d like to think that part of the reason things transpired in such a way is because it’s Japan, but that’s a lie to try to comfort myself. It could happen anywhere. Similar things have happened everywhere and during most eras of human history. Children get their heads bashed in by perverts, girls get raped for having the audacity to be alone somewhere, and justice fails time and again. I know this, and I’ve come to accept it as part of the human experience, the darkest part we never want to stop trying to prevail over but we’ll never get rid of.
But something about this, my mind viciously wants to reject. It wants to reject that this kind of sustained brutality and non-interference is possible anywhere. That one person could suffer so much because of so many people and then receive no justice in her death. It doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t seem possible. But it is, and I know worse has happened that I don’t know about. I don’t think I want to know about it.
There’s a manga of this. I’ve read it. You can find it fairly easily, but I won’t link you and you probably don’t want to be linked anyway. I didn’t realize until too late that it was actually a real event and had no idea that was how it would end, but even when I did, I couldn’t stop looking at the pictures. It’s intended for sexual satisfaction but quickly I think that becomes impossible but for the most depraved sadists. So I saw it happen, as a cartoon and in panels, but I saw it happen. I felt like I was there with her. I’m no empath and I can’t even begin to imagine what she suffered through for that amount of time. But I felt like I got a glimpse and that was more than enough.
I’d like to say something broke inside me, but I’ve been on the internet for years. I’ve seen guys open their anuses to the size of dinner plates, people get their heads cut off, and chicks fuck all manner of farm animals. I saw a dude shit into a syringe, inject it into his dick, and ejaculate it out. I’ve seen a lot of stuff so this didn’t break anything, but it managed to penetrate that numbness I’ve had for a long time. If I was a leper, this would have been a pain that penetrated deep enough to touch the buried nerves still alive.
41 days, you know? Of that, with no one doing anything to help her. She was just a goddamned kid. And 41 days of that.
How are human beings capable of this? How could mankind fail one person so terribly? How does the world make sense, or any of our lofty philosophic ideas about humanity have any ring of truth meaning when this happens? Who gives a shit about enlightenment? We’re supposed to be wise men, but we’re not. We’re not even beasts. We’re something worse and we don’t even need devils to tempt us. I just don’t understand how this is possible, but since it is, it seems to cast a long trivializing shadow on almost every facet of life for me.
There is also love in the world, I know. But sometimes, it’s damn hard to remember.