Fifth dream journal entry
Allow me to break character, probably for good.
All of this dream journal nonsense (if you’ve been keeping up with it), is based off of a story idea a fellow named Duskmon came up with at a forum I visit. I liked it, but disagreed with some of what he planned on doing with it, so I figured I’d give it a shot of my own, for shits and giggles (and ego).
I ran into a wall as usual, but that’s not important. What is important is that it actually happened to me several times this week. I fell asleep and fell in love.
I don’t fall in love in real life. If it’s not hate, it’s worship. That’s the only two options I got, and neither approaches love. But in my dreams, I am in love with this girl and we’re completely happy. Not the usual stuff that brings me pleasure in my dreams, actually normal, healthy stuff.
Different nights, different events, same girl, same relationship. Continuity, even though the dreams themselves differ. That’s insane. I mean, it’s wonderful, they’re as good of dreams as you can have, but dear God is that insane. I got the impulse to sleep to be happy. It’s seductive, because it’s idealistic, but real. Or as real as dreams get.
I still think Duskmon’s idea is a great story, but mainly because of the warning the story holds: letting go of reality for the sake of a dream has dire consequences. Wanting to fall asleep and never wake up again is suicidal, but in the context of a dream girl it’s happiness forever. It’s seductive in a way few things are.
Dreams aren’t reality, but they’re a form of reality that gives you something nothing else can. They can help you escape from reality in the same way most drugs can, but I think it gives you something better than that because the process is and feels natural.
Okay, I’m off on a tangent now but the point is, finding happiness in dreams is a dangerous thing. La Belle Dame Sans Merci. But what about when she is merciful?
I can control how things work in my own fiction. Tragedy is fine and poetic in fiction. Don’t much like it when things are out of my control in real life, though.