PROTIP: Ladies, don’t give nekkid pix to your boyfriends

During my time on the internet, I’ve noticed a few general trends. Religious discussions never go anywhere, people who spend the most time cultivating their online popularity are usually fairly unpopular in real life, and naked pictures rarely if ever are confined to the person to which they were intended.

The internet is for porn. It’s not about the free flow of information, or the next stage of human communication, it’s about free and incredibly perverse forms of erotic visual material. I say perverse not as a judgmental thing, but hell, you’ve all gotten “gurl sux down horse cock” spam before, right? And certainly worse out there exists to the point where it wouldn’t even be considered porn if people didn’t get off on it (I’m looking at you crush erotica). It is some twisted, twisted stuff.

But at a certain point, what IS the point? After you’ve seen the most twisted stuff imaginable, it loses it’s appeal fairly quickly. But of course you had to go to that in the first place because watching regular porn stars have (semi)normal sex stopped being attractive years ago. Jenna Jameson is an attractive woman, but it’s literally her job to get screwed. If there was a john instead of someone else also getting paid, she’d be a literal whore.

So what to do?

Well, there’s a branch of porn that has develop in part to answer this. Just like Playboy has supposedly backed off of ridiculously beautiful women and is going for “girl next door types”, there is now “amateur porn”… which of course rarely lives up to the advertisement. There can only be so many “first times” caught on tape, and if google is any indication, the amount makes the claims dubious at best. “She doesn’t normally get paid to be naked and have sex because she’s not that type of girl, but this time is an exception!”

But it does exist.

I should like to take a minute to point out that there is such a thing out there called “Beautiful Agony” which is extremely tasteful eroticism (featuring no nudity) and is another example of moving away from extreme perversion in order to get the same effect. It’s not all that important, I’m just throwing that out there.

Anyway, there is such a thing as a real, true amateur porn, however it is usually very different from that which is advertised and often not entirely consensual. It’s not rape, of course, it’s just that the person who is nude probably does not want it publicly seen.

What generally happens is girls who think they are in love or whatever send a video or some pictures to their boyfriend, or perhaps their potential boyfriend trying to win their co-, erm, hearts. And then the recipient looks at or watches the item, and shares. And the since this is the internet, the sharing occurs on a massive scale.

For example, a guy sends it to his friend to look at, friend uploads it and shows it to a forum, who all download and share some more.

Or a guy goes over to his friend’s house, gets on the computer, finds naked pics of the girlfriend, sends them in an email to himself.

Or maybe the relationship doesn’t work out, and the now ex-boyfriend has all of these compromising pictures of a girl who he can no longer stand. And onto the internet they go.

It doesn’t really matter how it happens, just that it does. And oh how it does. Some people may not be bothered by dozens or possibly thousands of strangers having access to naked pictures of them, but I imagine most people do. I’m thinking in particular of “Psycho Girl” who became famous for sending an explicit video to a fellow named “Matt” trying to win his, erm, heart. Of course she was actually underage, so when that hit the internet it constituted child porn, but that didn’t stop thousands of people from seeing it before it got stamped out (and I’m sure is still clandestinely available somewhere out there). Her life was ruined because she had poor judgment of character, and was apparently naive about the mechanisms of the internet.

So ladies, if you don’t want to be embarrassed and have everyone see your nether bits, don’t put them in a format where they can be easily disseminated. A naked photo of you can only be passed to one person at a time. A nekkid pic on the internet is copied without any loss. If you wouldn’t want your schoolmates or coworkers to see something, probably not a good idea to make that something digital where those same people could run across it on a website.

As for the men, who do this (and you know who you are), I have three strong words: keep ’em comin’.

Edit: Let me add to the list of possible ways for nude photos to get into public hands the option of getting your photobucket account broken into by someone getting your password or otherwise exploiting a glitch, and also taking pictures on your or someone else’s cellphone which might fall into the hands of someone with an interconnection. I forgot them earlier, and they’ve recently come up.