They only call me paranoid to discredit me.

by maddrunkgenius

Lord, preserve your perverse servant. I never molested any toddlers who didnt already have it coming. O mighty God, keep my arm cannon cool and well-oiled. May I stay the Queen of Blades as I have all other xenomorphic matriarchs before her. Dispenser of justice, lover of good, forbid my incontinence; I know not when I shit. (He has a wife, you know.)

Actually, why are the Swedish police in Switzerland? I for one blame the Nazis, effective iconography notwithstanding. But really, the effeminate ones deserved their place in the camps.

They say two and two make four, but I always just took their word for it. Ja ja. (It isn’t what you think it looks like.) What in the devil is all that noise?

When did I get blood on my hands?


I must need to press down harder. At some point, someone will see me and that will be the end. Of the beginning. So I’ll climb my way back to the top. The wise old man returns younger and dumber.


I truly do need attention and respect. Reverence, more like. I crave it, and it fulfills something in or for me, even when it comes from idiots, even when in a small pond.


Kim was so pretty. So why did they have to decide to beat the shit out of me? Samantha was so sweet. Why’d she have to go and leave?

They only call me paranoid to discredit me.


The doors of perception will open when your mind is unfettered. And your shirt is unbuttoned.


Ha! My farts are delicious to the aliens. What a twist! Takes the nuts straight off.