Fall 2009: And the hall is so white all the way and red at the end.
I want more whiskey, but already I smell my vomit at the bottom of the glass.
——People are interesting in all of their mundanities and eccentricities and absurdities, interesting and worth talking to, hearing talk. Life, living, wasting time — so pointless and so terribly important.
——The world is full and complicated.
I wandered the Hyde Park area, took a number 6 bus downtown and wandered around there. And I saw things and I met people. I drank too much and let neon lights dance in my head. I don’t know if it was the best thing I could have done, but it was something, and made me glad to be alive. I increased.
A college degree demonstrates mastery of delayed gratification.
——(But genius cannot be delayed till morning.)
In the absence, there is no beauty, but the pumpjacks are always lovely, tho more sad when they are still.
I took a piss in the bushes like 4 feet from this homeless guy. Thought it was just his cart and shoes, but it was him (didnt wake up, or pretended not to).
I woke and saw in on the bed next to me. Immediately I thought, “Something terrible has happened.” Not specific, just the abstract idea of “terrible” itself.
Good nights make for bad mornings.
——(This is the penance for a good time.)
I tried to clean my mess but I havent the tools, and there’s too much mess.
I suppose I need Jesus in my life.
I mistook the safe for a fridge. The bottle didnt get any colder, but at least no one stole it.
I enjoy eating too much, and I mean that both ways it can be taken.
How does the noise grant serenity?
——Oh my, oh my, my fingers are shaking.
Is the dog Barking? Or just in my head
I worry I’m just giving myself problems for a chance to be great. Really I’ll just end up mediocre, with problems.
Red cowboy books and gold trim (walking away).
——Spiral red fire escape screwing into the ground.
Wilted Yellow flower that’s fake anyhow.
——You couldnt see a plane and not be scared then.
The world is too big and too much to be experienced, but I must live someplace to experience more of it, someplace where things are happening.
I need a companion I can fold up and put in my pocket.
——In my drunken generosity I picked up the stone in the road so nobody would run over it or be hurt. I walked a while with it, tossing it and catching it thinking surely no mugger would mess with a guy with a big rock. Then I got to a parking lot and got a funny idea in my head to toss it at a car. Not in car in particular, just one of them. So I did, and tossed it straight thru somebody’s front windshield. And I started laughing but tried to stifle it and stumbled to the bus stop to back to my hotel and pass out.
——When I woke up, I was sick ( with guilt), but not so ill as to do anything but pack up and leave town.
Ho ho. A big dick, ho ho.
——Which is the thing, isnt it? For 50 cents as newspaper is still a tremendous deal, but why pay at all when you can get it for free?
Of course, someone threw a brick thru her car window.
——Broke bricked walkway and Giant favre determination.
Schlurp schlurp, schlurp schlurp.
The squirrel runs ‘cross the street and comes back to check out the black ladies, giggling.
——The tree is dead. Dont the squirrel know it?
Why all the pigeons birds etc. eat here?
——Fuck him till his dick falls off.
Lady jogger, tits bouncing up and down and crossways. Attack the air ahead; clear a path for the body.
There’s majesty also in cell phone towers.
——The catch stopped the cleaning lady and I screamed, more moaned, ‘I’m not checking out till tomorrow,’ so she closed the door.
Ooh, a pretty freckled girl in plaid skirt.
——And why did the bees crawl?
I’m a glutton. I’d like to eat at every restaurant and drink at every bar in America.
——Falling down smokestack.
Passed out in friends’ spare bed, spewing red wine as the room spins.
——The bright skylight makes my top sticky hot.
Who would put up with me?
——Pretty dark haired girl hides (it) under her cap.
Wet-looking crack filler (isn’t).
——Gray dry drip turns pink at bottom.
‘You absolutely must travel the cuntry, recording yer revelations of the AMERICAN race. My salvation depends on yer rapturous observations.’
——”Yes. I agree … I think … Except for the whole salvation part.”
‘You only disagree cause yer definition of rapture is different.’
In all awful depravity and awkward reality.
Ah! It’s all a crisis of identity.
Here they ask you if you’re taking yer coffee for here or to go and give you a mug if it’s for here. And I let the hot coffee cool.
Yes, but I can see the bottom.
No, thanks, I’ve had enough already.
I dont want to deconstruct. I want to build.
Swimming pools kill more children each year than guns. But then rifles can’t help you with your tan.
My lips are dry and searching. Shall I lick them or continue my pursuit?
——The Chinese are watching me.
——I’m mean to her, but I can also be sweet, and I’m sincere in both. And this is probably what being human is all about. We’re the rational animal not because we think or feel rationally, even consistently, but because we’re capable of choice and discerning sincerities.
——My (he)art aches.
Legit riding a unicycle.
She’s much too young to be in here
——(I am not complaining.)
I feel suddenly so serious.
——Drinking gives rise to spectacular humanity.
——Wish you were here. Wish I wasnt. Grifter cheap sift, plunge beneath the variable. Tactless propaganda. Panda bear not fox. Only safe ‘case they’re so damn cute. City lights limit perception. Goatee.
——Dan historical harmonious. Somalia. My liege. Broncos. Altho things could be better, they’re all right now. In fact, couldnt be better.
Or maybe super duper. Dumpster diver. Sideburns. Pagoda. Far enough away. King Kong was a merry old bong? Is Vince Young the future? But no one thinks that’s the case. A man of magnificent violence. Controlled domination. Incandescent. Never titanic. Step back into a sack (of Rome).
Seek not and you’ll find.