May 2010: Ain’t much is more than most.

by maddrunkgenius

i dont know why but i cant help but feel that we’re all just here & being

The story of Joseph is so good. Genesis is powerful; Joseph’s narrative is literary.

Some of my best friends are Jews.

My girlfriend is entirely too sweet and good to me.

We need the liquid fire of confidence to live life to the fullest. Police or politicians who discourage its consumption should be dragged out into street and publicly flogged, or raped, or forcibly intoxicated via enema.

When they say abortion helps prevent unwanted pregnancies, that’s a codeword for blacks, right?

Howard Pinkerton, the Internet sensation circa 2002, hung himself with kitchen wire, chicken wire, duct tape, and fishing line. (The crime is that he did these things without concern for his fellow race.) Unfortunately, hell isnt really hot or cold, but it is quite windy.

The moth flutters near his nose to rouse him from stupor, but little will be remembered in sober morning except terror and dusty wings. And the fleeting white movement caught in his eyelashes.

All journalism is yellow eventually, especially in the sun.

I sometimes forget that there’s a person behind all of the words of the news articles I read. Even press releases aren’t autonomous, but my mind receives them so.

It’s OK when I wake up in the morning & don’t remember why my dick smells like latex. It’s not OK when I wake up & don’t remember why my farts smell like KY.

I guess ennui is just evidence of tremendous blessings.

All vitamins are bad.

the old humid night, cool alone & quiet, is reminiscent, but i’m not sure it reminds me of anything; so i worry age decays the senses & fills the absence w/ nostalgia

my neighbors dont appreciate me on the patio waving my balls at them thru me fly (i drink it b/c it’s alive)

i went to [high school] today & met a buncha high school girls & mos of them were about as pretty as I remembered but they all wore spiked heels. So i asked “HEY I notice you looking fine & young but yer heels got them long spikes. dont it make it hard to walk?” And this girl she say “WELL sir dont you know rape is a serious problem here at [hs]? Why i cant get thru trig w/o gettin assfucked at least twice”

  • (she clarified a gangrape counted as one collective assfuck) “I GOTTA have the spikes to dig em off me” she says. “OH” I said “THAT sounds awful” “NAW she says IM pretty lucky on accounta i’m so ugly.” (she was). “KATHY GOMEZ is so purdy she has to mace her own asshole each mornin just to keep em off her enuf to walk to class.” So i guess things havent really changed that much. Haw haw haw

The only point of sex is to stave off death for another generation, but singing the arched-back song of life for half a minute is plenty good.

She read my credit card, but she dont really know me.

  • Vanessa, right?
  • I don’t even remember. At all.

I hate/enjoy waking up to find text messages & status updates I don’t remember

@MadDrunkGenius is hungover, dehydrated & traveling to Waco in the back seat of his parents’ car.

Every time I go to East Texas, I’m struck by how it stinks of death. The overwhelming fecundity is opposed in equal measure by its inevitable conclusion. The place rots with life. (#TryingTooHard.)

@MadDrunkGenius doesn’t remember ever meeting anyone attractive named ‘Bethany.’

If every set of 10 commandments were replaced instead with just the two (‘Love God, love your neighbor as yourself’), I think I’d be happier & the world a much better place.

  • The commandment against coveting and adultery just ruin everything don’t they?
  • Well, it says not to covet yout neighbor’s wife or ox or donkey, which is rather insulting. The adultery thing is relatively progressive for including men but still written only to men. And come on, what’s the matter with gettin yer dick wet once in a while?

It’s good to be young and easy to be happy. All life is an endless succession failures; failures to stay young, keep clean, keep healthy; failures to avoid sin, avoid mistakes, be generous & forgiving. But the cup’s already broken when we drink from it. So it’s good to be young and easy to be happy.

I enjoy drinking too much, in both ways that’s understood.

Ain’t much is more than most.

I’m a big gay bear, and I like getting fucked in the ass, or I would if I had someone to fuck me in the ass.

  • Normally I would suspect someone hacked your account, but then I realize you’re [@MadDrunkGenius] and I conclude that you’re merely on something.
  • I’d like to be on you & have yer shaved head gay my crotch to a suitable level.
    In retrospect, I probably should have put this status update in quotations. But in hindsight, I’m glad I drank wisely, if copiously, and didn’t spend money at the bar.

No one takes your complaints seriously when you make them while eating chocolate chip cookies.

Is there a bloodier priestly class than that of the Jews? Levi & his sons never seem happy for long unless they’re chopping something up, and I only now realize that could be taken as a reference to circumcision.

The only thing worse than working as a journalist is not working as a journalist. (Rape is also pretty bad.)

He gave her his best trashcan to throw up in, and in the morning she woke up & knew it was love.

I’d rejoice the day is over if there weren’t another just the same on the way.

My grandfather’s advice is folksy, but cryptic. ‘Never coyote yourself out of a good meal, even if it is a prairie dog.’ I said I’d do my best.

Before Facebook, no one could be sure if they were officially dating unless someone got pregnant or HIV positive.

It’s important to know when to stop, but it’s more important to actually stop when you realize you’re at that point.

Man developed the capacity for speech as a side effect of cunnilingus. (Women had it all the time.)