mad drunk genius

I used to have all sorts of problems. Now there's just the one.

Tag: Myspace

Revised bulletin: When a girl bumps into your arm

I got this from a bulletin someone sent, and it was the standard fare. Little bit of superstition, little bit of immature romance, wit nonexistent. The wit is still lacking quite a bit, but I will contend that is many times more accurate than the original version.

Girl facts

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking she wants
you to hold her hand
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When u break a girls heart,
she still feels it when
u run into each other 3 years later
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking of something you did three years ago.
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
she is wondering how long you will be
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl answers, “I’m fine, ” after a
few seconds,
she is not at all fine.
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering how to trap you in an unnecessary relationship
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl says, “I miss you, “
she’s fucking someone else
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup
she wants you back, but she’s
scared she’ll get hurt and knows
you’re gone forever
because she’s a crazy emotional bitch

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you,
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy is quiet,
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy is not arguing,
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy says, “I’m fine, ” after a few
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy stares at you,
he wants to fuck you.

When you’re laying your head on a guy’s
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy calls you everyday,
he wants to fuck you.

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy says he can’t live without you,
he wants to fuck you.

When a guy says, “I miss you, “
he wants to fuck you.

repost this in 10 minutes and your true
love will
call you

post this as

IF YOUR A GUY “When a guy calls you…”


IF YOUR A GIRL POST IT AS “When a girl bumps into your arm

Also, I bloody well know I didn’t follow the instructions, but I find it funny this way anyhow.

I could attempt some kind of serious explanation about the biological, evolutionary, and sociological explanations for why women are generally more romantic and men more carnal, but none of you care. And besides, I want to fuck something.

Illegal Immigration

I wrote a letter to the paper about the subject of immigration and how the debate over it is heating up, but I’ll spare you it. It wasn’t particularly well written and with any luck it won’t be published. Anyway. [Note: It was & included a factual error.]

This is the reason I sent something in. I had started to think about it thanks to a protest that went on during my work, but that myspace page and blog is what actually gave me motivation to do something.

I knew that guy when I was a kid, less during high school but we were on familiar if not amiable terms during that as well. The guy is rich, filthy fucking rich, but don’t take this as jealousy. Of course I wish I had more money, but whatever feelings of dislike I ever had were mainly focused on his personality flaws. And now this.

I know most of the internet is lazy, so it’s probably you didn’t click that link (just like you’re probably not reading this). It’s basically a mouthpiece for the far-right on a bunch of different issues, the current one being illegal immigration. There’s no actual writing going on there, just copy and pasting of news items written in such a fashion as to be little more than propaganda. The fact that it’s unoriginal propaganda makes it doubly a sin.

I’m not a liberal, even though I am further to the left than a lot of people around me, and apparently further to the left than that fellow. I’m a moderate if I’m anything and all I think that means is that I can admit that there are valid viewpoints on both sides of the political spectrum about most issues.

In the case of illegal immigration, you can’t just categorically say it’s bad. It’s not a black and white issue, even though laws have to be by their nature. Illegals do all kinds of terrible demeaning jobs for sub-minimum wage for a good reason. It’s not like they do them so they have a chance to ruin America.

“Muhwahaha, by washing dishes for $3.50 an hour and sending most of my money back to my family in Mexico, I can wreck the American economy by siphoning money away from it. Muhwahaha”

Illegals do a lot of terrible work ol’ “[XXXXX]” would never stoop to do, and they suffer under conditions he never has and never will have to. Do I kid myself that I’m much better in that respect? Of course not. I’m absolutely loaded compared to them. But I think it’s okay to be sympathetic with something you don’t agree with, and I think it’s possible to have compassion for illegals even if you think they are causing some great harm to America. And honestly, there’s more racism going on here than actual political beliefs.

Now, perhaps even more sad than what my old somewhat friend said are the number of people agreeing with him. Some are just right-wingers whose job it is to be crazy, but the number of ignorant people who take that stuff at face value is just mind boggling. The same amount do it for ridiculous liberal nonsense, but for all of the “Sheeple” pictures people use as comments on that page, are they all blind to the hypocrisy of its use?

My guess? Probably.

It’s a sad world after all

As of the time of this “blog”, I have one friend on myspace. Pretty pathetic, but in my defense, I’ve only tried to get one friend, and that’s only so that I could post on his site because he’s a cool guy and makes good music. None of you people out there not reading this care about that, so let me get to my point.

Myspace can be a sad place, and I don’t just mean because it’s a wasteland of intelligence. It’s sad because even on the internet, there are still the haves and the have-nots. Some people have lots of friends, others almost none, and that’s a shame. There’s zero quality control, of course, but when I see a dude I’ve known for years (again, not naming names) who was pathetic as hell in real life, then I visit his myspace site and I see he has almost no friends and zero comments… Man, it’s just pitiful. He could be happy and successful right now, but I doubt it. I kept trying to think of what the guy had going for him and so far as I know, pity was it.

You don’t need friends to be happy, but it helps. It helps to feel appreciated and liked. Myself, I can get that pretending to be a likeable person. Maybe he can too, but I doubt it.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. Maybe it’s just to say that high school isn’t important in the long scheme of things but it carries over. Success in school doesn’t guarantee success in life, but generally, success with people is something that stays constant, and the lack thereof is also true.

When you’re unpopular as a kid, we try to tell you that it’s going to get better, but come on. Everyone who’s worked at a job knows “that guy”. He’s the same guy who was “that guy” in school, now he’s just older and more pathetic.

Even worse than “that guy” is the “guy who doesn’t know he’s that guy”. I had a constant paranoid fear that this was who I was, but for the most part I can be pretty sure I wasn’t, because I was making fun of GWDKHTG along with everyone else. You were nice to his face, made jabs you knew would go over his head, and let him pretend he was well liked until he got out of earshot.

I say that’s worse, but at least he was happy. Someone who’s a loser and knows it has nothing positive to latch on to. Maybe it’s a blessing to be blissfully unaware. In fact, I’m sure it is.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but nostalgia…

[Original title: “Myspace, my memories”]

I’ve now become somewhat addicted to myspace, and I think I know why.

Myspace is a facsimile, or rather, a reminder of the old life. The high school/junior high life. It has all of the people you used to know acting the way you used to know them, and that brings contentment.

I wasn’t especially popular in high school. People knew me, people liked me, or at least they appeared to to my face, which is just as well. But even though I didn’t particularly enjoy high school, I enjoyed the societal framework that existed within it. I was the person I was supposed to be, the person I was meant to be. High school didn’t define me as a person, but all of the people I had known for the past ten or twelve years did. I was who they wanted me to be. I filled my role, and it was comfortable. It was comfortable to be a smartass or a pervert or a clever, witty guy or a slacker, because that’s what people wanted when they saw me. They knew who I was, so I did as well.

High school is not a great place, and it wasn’t that great for me. But all I can remember is the good stuff. When I’m on myspace and I see the pictures of the people I used to know, I remember the good experiences, and the comfort. Which is odd, it really is. I don’t want to name names because even though I know no one will likely ever find their way here or read this, I’d rather not sacrifice my anonymity and face consequences, however minor those consequences might be. So forgive me for speaking in generalities.

It’s odd because I dislike a lot of the people I see, especially the girls. I have a gut reaction of “faggot” when I see someone who’s twenty and can’t write coherently or has a goofy expression on his face. My eyes roll in my head and I feel immediately superior, but I don’t feel the hate I feel toward the girls I used to know with their plastered on smiles and disingenuity.

This is obviously hypocritical because I am one of the most disingenuous people you’ll ever meet. I often smile and laugh when I am completely disinterested or sometimes when I’m completely enraged. But when they do it, I don’t know. It just makes me angrier than I should be. Maybe I’m a misogynist. Who knows? But when I see them on myspace, I don’t think of that at first. I remember all of the times I saw her during school and the kind words and the genuine smiles. I have to work to hate them because those aren’t the first memories that come up.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but nostalgia does a good job as an anesthetic.