mad drunk genius

I used to have all sorts of problems. Now there's just the one.

Tag: writing

Scattered storms, like ideas, are heavier in some places than others

  1. A bigot / misogynist who mistreats robot / AI. He renames his Siri-equivalent a slur, pretends at living in the antebellum South. The voice isnt recorded by anyone but automatically generated. The fellow is a miserable person, the sort who’d kick a dog if he had a bad day & people still owned dogs. But he doesnt. He doesnt own anything, even the AI. He pays a subscription for it. How you feel about the story depends on what sort of jobs he has. Maybe that’s the end of it: he leaves for work, and it isnt specified what the occupation is.
  2. An alien species without malice. Hermit crabs who find a species capable of sentience in order to grow them, make them capable of progressing technologically enough to get off the planet & onto others. No, that sounds too much like Prometheus. But I cant imagine why space-farers would choose to inhabit the ruins of other civilizations, as was the original idea.
  3. Humanity starts using viruses to re-write DNA and fix problems, like eyesight, congenital defects, etc. But it mutates & changes scent. People start to identify others by smell, physical reaction to those who don’t smell ‘right’. Society re-structured around pheromones, exile akin to death. But people can still communicate as long as it’s not in person, or they’re wearing containment suits. Protagonist has to be someone who lacks an identity.
  4. It’s the future, and there’s little meat left except what’s in carapace. There is beef & chicken, but allocations of only 1kg of beef per year & 1kg of chicken per month, per adult person. Tastes terrible, only comes from animals that have died of age or disease. The poor can auction off meat ration to wealthier people, but also have first rights to their own family’s flesh.
    1. Corpse meat can also be sold to Eaters of the Dead cults, or sold or rented to ravishers, who generally pay the most & buy bodies whole.
    2. Church of Eternal & Righteous Love targets drug rehab centers to convert young to religion in hopes they’ll sign over their bodies before a fatal relapse.
    3. Church of the Final Revelation started the trend off.
    4. Story is of a family eating last meal with terminally ill mother, her tasting meat for the last time, and discussing what to do with her body. Treatment exists but too expensive; discussion of cost includes possibility that illness runs in family & money from selling body could provide for testing/treatment of children.
    5. ‘They were right about everything. It just had nothing to do with their daughter.’
    6. Title is In Remembrance Of
  5. The easiest way to add to life is stop sleeping
    1. Pill lets you sleep for 2 hours, give or take, while remaining fully conscious and hallucinating.
    2. Need prescription based on argument of utility. Need to have a useful job, be a ‘producer’ rather than a consumer, so only the wealthy can qualify.
    3. ‘There was a girl missing. Like all missing girls anyone cares to find out what happened to, this one was pretty. She also played saxophone more than decently and wore a short skirt and tall heels[?]. Her family thought that she’d been kidnapped or murdered. They wanted me to find out how and why. They could pay a month’s worth of No Doze, a quarter now to make sure I could stay hot on the trail, but three quarters when I’d done my job. But I’m an android. I have no lust for sleep or dreams. ~This has to be two ideas, not one.

My body is a temple, but all that’s left is the wailing wall.

When I trip, I try to find a way to see God, but
usually just catch glimpses of the devil.

I am the same person  I was as a child tho no atom, idea or possession remains as it was.
Identity is same-lifetime reincarnation.
——Drinking is its own activity.
Alcohol has more than enough variation & substances, more than an alcohol
ever will appreciate.
——Inebriation lies beyond the laws of math — one becomes ten immediately.
I can tell I’m old because I need sincerity even in parody.

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Marriage is a desire to do life with someone else.

——To wish things arent as they are
——is a useless & unfulfilling thing.
He is 14 & precocious, so it’s cute.
But his sister is not precocious & what
she does in front of him is not so cute.
——The best of the young fathers has no
——children but has uncled three generations.
I have a perverse sense of obligation when
it comes to stated contract.

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Humanity is a perversely well-beloved pustule

——I like the ones who just say, ‘OK.’
Remember being just tall enough to touch things, finally?
——I dont think I’m jealous. It’s just the delay.

The junkie with dark skin & bright eyes & all else is still alive in there.
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Every leaf withers, some still upon the tree

I understand dance music, it’s almost spiritual ability to lift you
up & make you feel transcendent, in the youthful moment, the energy,
the whatever. But not dance itself. The compulsion isnt in me.
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All coffee & whiskey & goddamn

I’m sick of spending all of time thinking about & telling myself I’m going to write something, then not.

I’m sick of wanting to be everywhere else that I ‘m not, and telling myself that if only, if only I had more time, or if only I werent spending so much of it with a girl or at a particular job, I’d be so much more creative & wonderful & live up to all of those expectations I have & others have for me.

But here I sit at a bar, drinking way too much, having drunk way too much already, with a job interview in the morning & more to memorize after that, and none of it fucking matters because I’m not FULFILLING MY TRUE PURPOSE, whatever that means.

(Hello double well-whiskey neat.)

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A May Day, working & after (2)

————How are we doing? What did you
——Being great is difficult. do before you
————Do what you do well. came to be here?
——Catch me if you can. Ocean of flesh.
Nothing doing, nothing done. Do what needs
——Willpower is a myth but to be done And
——a useful one. Snapshot what doesnt.
When you’re honest, it’s horrid. This is enough.
——Lucy is an idea & ‘Mother — hold me.’
——that’s all. My mind is untidy. He’s honest.
We communicate in narratives Warg, fey thing
but they dont exist. Kind boy. Faerie, queen.
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‘Are you writing a novel?’ / ‘No, it’s more an insipid.’

——What’s done is done. What’s not wont be again.
I’m sore & tired, everything about me is.
I have no desire for ambition.
——I’m not worried about going to work, just going out to work.
The days still feel long, but they disappear quickly. Quicker.

——Every day I suffer the same stupid, boring people. Blink twice if
One day, this’ll all be behind us. That day is tomorrow. you want to die.
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The mind is a soup du Jour

——Fuck what I do & that I have to do it, & every fucking worldly thing.
A woman today said to me that infant mortality is different from
abortion because God has the right to kill the unborn & infants &
children as painfully & awfully as might be imagined, but it’s
immoral (only) when people kill 
zygotes, embryos & fetuses.
——The morality of man exceeds the morality of God because God’s
——benevolence appeals to force, only, while man’s appeals to common,
——intelligible reason. Nothing, nothing. End of all none soon enough.
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Hanging judges fill the benches of our minds

——Isn’t it wonderful how much we have compared to other people?
Can I not go where I want?
——What good may I do where I am now? Why go to work?
It’s just inertia & easier to
keep doing than do better.

How long, O Lord, how long?

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